I don't do deep and meaningful, you will learn this. Not too deep anyway. I like humour, I like to keep things light, and (hopefully) entertaining. So this post is coming with a disclaimer - don't expect life changing revelations, or insight.
It's just a trail of thoughts that were screaming around my brain at 3am, somewhat causing and perpetuating my (legal) drug-induced insomniatic state. I felt like my brain was alight with things to fill a blog post of randomness today. In fact, I wound myself up about it SO much that I couldn't sleep for the excitement of writing the post when I got up in the morning. I also got excited about all the food I plan to bake/make today (and much to my delight, the weather is cooler and miserable, perfect for what I want to bake in the oven - comfort food!) but that's a whole other blog post.
It's like verbal diarrhea. This could also come from the fact that I sit at home alone all day with only 3 cats for company, and a house painter (who I shouldn't interrupt from his work because that would be naughty, and not what my parents are paying him for, to listen to a silly 21 year old use her word quota for the day). The cats, typically, are not good conversationalists. And nine times out of ten, all the cool people to talk to online are out having lives, or working.
So now my blog gets to listen to me. I think this is going to work well. RIGHT. To the list!!! (I love lists. This too, you will learn.)
ONE
I have learned that it is NOT a good idea to drink soda/fizzy. I mean, when I first got sick, Sprite made me feel better, but soon the bubbles made me keep throwing up. So I went off it. But last night, I had a glass of Coke (first time in 2012!) and WOAH. My tolerance for caffeine has gone WAY down. So on top of the buzz from my medication that gives me insomnia, last night I also had caffeine. Mistake #1. Doh!
Mistake #2 was going to bed at midnight, thinking that staying up (pinning like a mad thing) for the 2 hours I'd normally be lying in a dark room would maybe help me sleep better by tiring my eyes out more. It didn't. It just pushed the whole mess forward 2 hours, so instead of falling asleep around 1 am, I didn't fall asleep until 3am. And of course, an hour after finally fall asleep, nature called. *bloody hell* Then another few hours awake, listened to my dad get up at 6am, and finally fell asleep again, only to have my wonderful (insert sarcasm font here) body clock wake me at 8.30am. In conclusion, EPIC FAIL. So, back to 10.30pm bedtime tonight. Insomnia, you WILL be my bitch tonight.
Mistake #2 was going to bed at midnight, thinking that staying up (pinning like a mad thing) for the 2 hours I'd normally be lying in a dark room would maybe help me sleep better by tiring my eyes out more. It didn't. It just pushed the whole mess forward 2 hours, so instead of falling asleep around 1 am, I didn't fall asleep until 3am. And of course, an hour after finally fall asleep, nature called. *bloody hell* Then another few hours awake, listened to my dad get up at 6am, and finally fell asleep again, only to have my wonderful (insert sarcasm font here) body clock wake me at 8.30am. In conclusion, EPIC FAIL. So, back to 10.30pm bedtime tonight. Insomnia, you WILL be my bitch tonight.
TWO
I have noticed that I take twenty minutes at least, to eat a piece of toast with peanut butter on it. I have no idea why, but it just takes me forever. Super weird.
THREE
I realised that I like junk mail, a great deal. It's like shopping, when you can't get out of the house. I just got really excited by a huge pile of it sitting on the dining table. I'm actually looking forward to looking at all the catalogues now and pretending I can afford stuff. Weehooo that's my morning entertainment taken care of! :)
FOUR
I have noticed that people make comments about things they should either shut up about, or keep for their blogs (if they are that determined to make a big deal about it). And I'm not meaning Facebook comments, I'm meaning real, legitimate comments to peoples faces. Comments that have power over people, to damage spirit, to hurt feelings.
Now this insight comes from two places. I'll talk about the first one because it's personal, and the second one because I feel the need to say if it's not Thoughtful, Helpful, Insightful, Necessary or Kind (aka THINK before you speak) then don't freaking well say anything, because it's blatantly none of your freaking business!
First of all, it's a weight thing. Why do people think it's ok to comment on another persons weight, but this only works in one direction. People will only ever say something if you've lost weight. The majority of people in this world would never say "Oh wow, you've gained weight" if they saw you and you had, so why is it socially acceptable to say the reverse?
Somehow it's ok to say "Oh wow, you've lost weight". I mean, to some it can be a compliment, but to me, at this time in my life, and given my previous states of being (aka fat, and now, not so much), it's more like a punch in the face, subliminally saying "Oh wow, remember you were fat last time I saw you, but something has changed and now you're not fat anymore, yay you!", and then they expect you to be bashful and say "oh yes, I've been dieting like a crazy bitch and working my ass off at the gym for two hours every day". But it's awkward because they don't stop to think, maybe losing weight wasn't done intentionally, maybe it's a sign of something more serious. I mean yes, mostly people are happy to lose weight and have people notice (especially when weight loss is their goal), but I just think people should keep their mouths shut, and say nothing one way or the other. Less chance of hurting someone without realising it. Commenting on other peoples weight should just be taboo, it's just safer not to say the W word. (It is, however, perfectly acceptable to say things like "Oh gosh you're looking good!" or "Oh goodness you look amazing!" ;) )
Somehow it's ok to say "Oh wow, you've lost weight". I mean, to some it can be a compliment, but to me, at this time in my life, and given my previous states of being (aka fat, and now, not so much), it's more like a punch in the face, subliminally saying "Oh wow, remember you were fat last time I saw you, but something has changed and now you're not fat anymore, yay you!", and then they expect you to be bashful and say "oh yes, I've been dieting like a crazy bitch and working my ass off at the gym for two hours every day". But it's awkward because they don't stop to think, maybe losing weight wasn't done intentionally, maybe it's a sign of something more serious. I mean yes, mostly people are happy to lose weight and have people notice (especially when weight loss is their goal), but I just think people should keep their mouths shut, and say nothing one way or the other. Less chance of hurting someone without realising it. Commenting on other peoples weight should just be taboo, it's just safer not to say the W word. (It is, however, perfectly acceptable to say things like "Oh gosh you're looking good!" or "Oh goodness you look amazing!" ;) )
Maybe I'm being overly sensitive here, because I have lost weight, but not healthily and I look like a skeleton, but I don't know, something about that double standard just bothers me and I've wanted to write about it for a while. Of course you are more than welcome to disagree with me, and to say so in the comments, but I'm not going to get into any arguments (that has happened before -_- I don't do arguing. This is my blog, I write what I think.)
And so, on a related note, but actually, I'm going to make this a new number, because otherwise number four is going to get an ego because I've written so much and its getting big... so...
And so, on a related note, but actually, I'm going to make this a new number, because otherwise number four is going to get an ego because I've written so much and its getting big... so...
FIVE
On the same train of thought, people should not comment on stuff that isn't their business. Period. End of story. This stems from this show I've been watching following a girl called Katie, who was the victim of an acid attack (as in, a stranger came up to her and threw acid in her face) so she has horrendous burns all over her face, but anyway, she survived and worked hard to get to where she is today, healing inside and outside.
She's started a charity for people with disfigurement, for support and everything, and it's amazing what she is doing. So on this show, we get to meet some of the people with facial (and other) disfigurements that are to become ambassadors for the charity, and it tells us a little about them all. And I've noticed, they often talk about how their whole lives (or however long they've had the disfigurement) people have made nasty comments about it. Like there was this one girl who had a genetic disorder which meant her bones fused in her head, so she's had countless surgeries her whole life to pull the bones apart and expand her head so her brain could grow and to reconstruct her face, and to save her life! She's been through so much, and then to hear that people would say to her as she grew up "Oh you shouldn't be out of the house looking like that" or "You're ugly". WHO SAYS THAT?! Seriously?! To someones face?! What kind of people are there in this world, that think they have a right to judge beauty? They have NO idea what she has been through? It made me so mad on her behalf that people can be so insensitive, and treat people so differently just based on appearance.
And it's common! People feel they have a right to comment. And it's simple. They don't. They have absolutely no right at all. It's not their place. Everyone deserves to be treated equally, you wouldn't say "you're ugly" to your friend, why is it ok to say it to a stranger, just because you don't know them? And actually, this girl wasn't ugly at all, she was different to look at, yes, and she was also beautiful.
But this brings me back to the THINK before you speak. And the old adage of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". This poor girl is terrified to leave her flat because of comments from ignoramuses like the people who make those comments. People need to shut the hell up. It would save so much pain, and to treat others how they want to be treated themselves. Plain and simple.
Ok, I'm getting down off my high horse now. And I think I've rambled enough for today. Congratulations if you read this far, I commend you. But really, I feel much better having gotten four and five off my chest. *breathes a sigh of relief*
Happy days! I'm going to go bake now. :)
EDIT: I just realised I did get a bit deep and meaningful haha... sorry. My disclaimer lied. Just a little bit.
EDIT #2: Ok, so my point number four about people commenting on my weight, I just want to clarify, it upsets me when it's people I barely know who comment on my weight. My close friends and family, I know they say it because they care and are worried about my sudden change in appearance so that's ok, but like people who barely know me? No. That's what's uncool. People who say it specifically because they expect me to turn around and say "yes I've been dieting and exercising mentally to get like this".
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