It's ok to have moments, so I keep telling people; pity-parties as I call them. Maybe I should take my own advice and have a moment and be ok with it. Sometimes I feel like a failure if I do. I'm supposed to be strong, and I'm stubborn that it's hard to let that fall down.
It's hard to stay positive all the time. I think my current moment is mostly about jealousy. And I know that it's an ugly emotion, and we shouldn't show it. But I'm jealous because life is so unfair sometimes.
I see all my friends out there, living, having lives, having fun, and I'm at home, not going anywhere or doing anything because I have no money, and I am busy at uni. Yes, I am accomplishing university, but there are always going to be people with better grades, coping better with their studies, and that's most of my friends. Which makes me feel useless.
I see all my friends out there, living, having lives, having fun, and I'm at home, not going anywhere or doing anything because I have no money, and I am busy at uni. Yes, I am accomplishing university, but there are always going to be people with better grades, coping better with their studies, and that's most of my friends. Which makes me feel useless.
All of my friends are doing amazing at whatever they are doing. I know a lot of them worked hard for it, but it doesn't make me any less envious. Some are travelling the world, some are embracing healthier lifestyles, some are graduating, some are getting amazing jobs, some are making an impact just by existing. Why can't I seem to do this too?
I know people tell me I am helping, I am making a difference... but I certainly don't feel like I am, or like I'm achieving anything.
I know people tell me I am helping, I am making a difference... but I certainly don't feel like I am, or like I'm achieving anything.
I feel like I'm just hovering. I'm not really living.
