Read Me

http://www.danoah.com/2011/11/im-christian-unless-youre-gay.html

All I can say, is that this is an amazing, well written article, and I think EVERYONE should read it.  It's something I've personally pondered for a long, long time, and have never been able to find the words to say it so eloquently.  I want you to do 3 things.

Read ALL 3 pages.

Consider your own actions, & decide to change them.

Spread the word.

Summer

Some pictures I'm really feeling right now.  Bring on summer.

Past Lives

I am fascinated by all things supernatural and spiritual.  I think I saw a ghost once.  I've been in haunted houses.  I believe in mediums and psychics.  I think I sometimes see my Pop turn lights on and off as I drive by.  I read horoscopes.  I would like someone to do tarot cards for me one day.  I love Charmed.  Secretly I wish I could be in a coven haha... it would be so cool!  So for me, the idea of past-lives is entirely plausible.

Now, why, you might ask, am I suddenly talking about past lives?  Well.  Tonight I saw a movie, Footloose.  Yes it was the remake.  No it wasn't terrible.  And no, I haven't seen the original, but now I really want to.  Anyway, I promise this is related.  The music was so good, and I couldn't help but dance along in my seat.  So, I reckon in my past life I was a dancer of some sort.  I danced when I was little, and if I hadn't moved around so much, I think I would really have gotten into it!  Especially after a school play which involved rock'n roll dancing.  SO much fun.

Maybe I was a teen in the 50s or 60s in a past life, and my life was cut tragically short... who knows.  It would also be fun to have been a flapper in the 20s.

If someone could take the initiative and open up a club in town which played 50s and 60s rock n roll music, served milkshakes as well as cocktails, and had a jukebox, I would live there.  I would dance there all the time. 

I know there is Boogie Wonderland, but that's real 80s and full of people my parents ages reliving their youth.  Don't get me wrong, that's perfectly fine, but I want to go to a place where guys and girls my age dance together, but not in a way where nothing is left to the imagination. 

I don't like clubs in town, with their stupid remixes of good songs, and clubby DJ'ed music, where everyone is so drunk they stopped caring about the music and the dancing, where instead they writhe on the dancefloor in a sweaty heaving mess.  No.  I want guys to approach girls, and ask them to dance for a song or two.

I swear, I have been young in the wrong era.  Someone build a time machine and take me back to the 60s, stat!

Stress

It's that time of the university semester.  Everything is due.  All at once.  Once means right now.

I might pass out with fear.  I think I already failed my French grammar test.  It was so terrible.  I hate failing.  It makes me so sad.  I try not to fail, but maaaaan French is sooo bad.  I can't wait to drop it. 

I'm already looking forward... I want to plan my timetable for next year and begin re-enrolling at uni already... but I just have to focus and get through the next two weeks first.  

ARGHHHH.

I need a hug.

As a side note, I also need a hug because today in anthropology class we had to watch baby chickens be force fed poison and subsequently die.  I'm disturbed by this very much.  To counter-act this, I'm going to add a picture of live baby chickens. 

 

I feel a bit better now.

Oh. I Forgot I Had a Blog.

The infrequency of my posts and their random content.  Pretty much sums me up really.  I'm not easily distra...oooh shiny!  Kidding.  But seriously, my mind goes everywhere.  One minute I'm obsessed with a particular author/singer/website/food/*insert addictive item here*, and the next minute I've forgotten what my previous obsession was.

I don't think I was ever meant to be a regular blogger.  I really only blog if I have something I really want or need to say.  Usually it's important to me.  Most of the time it won't mean a thing to anyone else.  And that's totally cool.

So.  Current obsessions.  Demi Lovato's new CD Unbroken, and also Annah Mac's Little Stranger.  Oh and who could forget Lady Antebellum's new one We Own the Night.  Yeah, I might have spent $100 on CDs last week.  Oops.  Oh well.  Love love love.   :)  I also can't get enough of fresh oranges.  Om nom nom. 

I am somewhat in denial about the next two weeks.  There's so much scary pass/fail crap happening at uni and I'm terrified of failure.  Unfortunately, that terror makes me freeze in fear.  It's a vicious cycle.  I am my own worst enemy.  Here's hoping last minute will work again this time.  Here is a picture of my current mindset...

Soooo yeah.  This is a pretty random blog.  I'm excited for summer and moving home, but I have to get thru the next two weeks.  Maybe I should disable FB for that time... I HAVE been using it a LOT less than normal lately tho, so I don't think that should be too much of an issue.

Until next time I have something I need to say... toodles!

Lists

I like to make lists.  It helps me make things make sense in my head.  Because they so often don't. 

Ok, so these aren't really lists, but more of a weighing up of my options.

OPTION 1: 

Missoula, Montana, USA for 5 months (approx) in 2012 Fall Semester for Study Abroad Exchange

Pros: Studying abroad, making new friends, going to an American college, visiting my favourite friends in Utah, hopping across to New York for a visit, spending (a white!) Christmas there when my parents fly over to spend it with me, during which we will travel around USA a little bit together, visiting Utah (again) and Vegas before making our way back to LA.

Cons: Expensive, I don't have a job (hard to make money) and I have to fund my own flights, accommodation, spending money, and the trips I want to do while I'm there visiting friends and places I've not been.  Spending such a long time away from home.  Trying to understand a different university system.  Coping with my illness overseas.  Trying to study while also having a good time getting out and about.  I've also already been to America for holidays... so it won't be too much new.  Also, I have to have a B grade average with my studies here in NZ to be eligible to go, and that's so stressful.  If I don't have that, then it will certainly be option 2!!  And the application process for exchange is super intense and scares me.  A lot.

OPTION 2:

Holiday to Malaysia (maybe for a month during NZ summer, or a couple of weeks during NZ winter) in 2012. 


Pros: Going back to the country I lived for three years, revisiting the places I loved, making new memories, solidifying old memories, seeing the place through maturer eyes (I was nearly 15 when I left, I'm now 21 and haven't been back yet).  Amazing food, amazing shopping.  CHEAP - food, flights, accommodation, everything!!  I have friends I can stay with, people to visit, etc. and places I want to go that I missed out on last time.  Warm climate.  Not away from home for too long.  Actually have a holiday, don't have to study.  Also, I've been having a recurring dream that I go back to Malaysia, and I feel complete... I wake up feeling like I REALLY have to go back, sooner rather than later.  I'm homesick for Malaysia.

Cons: I can only do one of the two options.  Going to Malaysia might destroy some memories I had (but that's ok, really.) and I might not like it now that I'm older (unlikely!).  Still, don't have a job.  Will have to work hard and save hard when I do get one, but this trip would be cheaper and therefore faster and easier to save for...

OK.  So comment and tell me which you think?  I'm leaning towards the holiday to Malaysia, just because it's easier, cheaper, and far more within my monetary reach.  Plus, I still intend to go to USA again someday soon.  

HELP?


UPDATE
I've thought of an option 3.  Going to a new place, somewhere I haven't been before, like one of the pacific islands...  But if I'm going to be completely honest, I'd have to say that I'd choose revisiting Malaysia over a pacific island.  Once I've been back to Malaysia, and that need is satisfied, I think pacific islands will be next on my list.

Floating

That's what it feels like right now.  Like I'm floating, not quite touching anything, just keeping my head above water. 

I'm so sick of living in the city.  People joke and call me a townie (because my parents now live in an area deemed rural) but honestly, I hate the big city life.  Give me a town or small community any day. 

I feel so tired all the time too, which is annoying.  Right now, it's not even 9pm, yet I'm gazing longingly at my bed, looking forward to the moment I can sink into its embrace. 

I can't seem to concentrate on anything much, my attention span lasts for all of a few minutes.  Which is why this blog is also short.  Because before you can sing the alphabet, I'll be looking back at Facebook, trying to write my class notes, or reading my book.  Heck, I can't even watch television without stopping and starting all the time, and fidgeting the whole way through.

I can't wait for summer.  Summer won't fix my problems, but it will mean I won't have to work so hard to stop them from taking over my life!

Luck.

Normally I don't have much luck!  But last week, I won an iPad and $500 petrol vouchers off the local radio station!  I was so stoked, I was jumping around the house screaming and laughing and couldn't stop grinning for ages. It's the best thing I've ever won!  I never normally win anything and only entered the competition for the whole "gotta be in it to win it" thing, so could not believe my luck!

I personally would never have forked out the money to BUY an iPad, because I have a perfectly useable laptop.  I wanted one, but would never be able to justify it with my laptop.  However, to win one, that's such a luxury!  I love it completely!

I finally picked it up on Monday and had the composure to resist opening it until tonight (Friday).  I've been playing with it all night, adding apps and playing around with the settings.  I am so in love with this thing.  It's so dinky!  It will be so handy to have for travelling and everything too!  It's so compact and light! :)  It's white, 16 GB and lovely.  I've only put my fave music on it.  :)

If you ever have the chance to get an iPad, I'd highly recommend it! :)

Only The Good Die Young.

It's so true. 

Rest in Peace Chris.

You were an amazing guy who touched so many peoples lives, even if they only met you briefly.  

Your spirit was so strong and energetic, and you were always so lively and fun.  

I am sad that nobody else will be graced by your presence, but rest assured that those of us who were, will forever keep you alive in our memories and hearts.  

My sincerest condolences and love to your family.  

Heaven has a new angel, and one who I'm sure will be the life of the party. :)

That Awkward Moment When...

... you promised to finish an assignment so you can go home in the weekend.  I can't seem to concentrate on reading the stupid article, to get the damn article review essay thing written.  It's driving me mad, cos I really want to go home, but I can't focus!!!  ARGHHH.

Quizzage.

Ever really cried your heart out?
A couple of times, maybe.


The past two nights, where did you sleep?
In my bed at home last night, in my bed at my apartment in town the night before.


What’s one thing you like about winter?
 Being able to wear my puffy jacket!


Don’t tell me lies, so is the last person you texted attractive?
Yehhh she's a hottie... guys chase after her all the time...!


As of this minute, what is going through your mind?
How I don't feel too great after dinner tonight and might have to avoid curries in future.


Have you laughed until you cried?
Yes, it's the best feeling!


What are you listening to right now?
The beginning of Shrek Fourever After.  :P


You never know what you got until you lose it? True or false?
False.


What is the last thing you drank today?
Orange squash


Has anyone put their arm around you in the last 5 days?
Mum and Dad.


How old was the last person you kissed?
Can't remember!


Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt on?
...


Are you too forgiving?
I'm too stubborn actually.


The boy/girl you truly care about needs you at 3am, would you go?
Yes.  But they'd probably never think to ask me in the first place.


Do you know what the last person you kissed is doing right now?
...


Is there a song that every time you hear it, you think of someone?
Yes, She Will Be Loved by Maroon5 reminds me of Stacy.


Are you ready for kids now?
No.


The last person that made you angry, did you tell them?
Yes.  The bus company.


Was Halloween good for you this year?
I don't celebrate Halloween


Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
About the same.


Has anyone hurt you bad lately?
A bit.


How is your new year so far?
2011 is good, I'm at uni & enjoying it!


Do you believe in love?
Not sure.


Are you happy with your life?
I could be happier.  There are some parts I loathe.


Your sister came home and told you she had sex with 15 boys, you’d say?
Since when did I have a sister?


Is there someone you wish you were still close with?
Yeh.


Who was the last person you gave a dirty look to?
The cat when she stole my spot on the couch.


What is the last movie you watched, with who?
*currently watching* Shrek Four


Is your hair up or down right now?
Up


Who was the last person to sing to you?
Noone


How many pillows on your bed?
3


Promise not to lie and delete questions?
Yep.


Do you consider yourself an emotional person?
Can be... it depends.


Are you saving your money for any big purchase right now?
Yes, a camera/going overseas on exchange


Name the person who lies the most?
I'm not sure.  People in charge seem to.


Who did you last hug?
My parents.


Whose bedroom were you in last?
Mine, and mine.


Do you sleep with the door open or closed?
Pulled almost closed, but open enough that the cats can come in, cos otherwise they scratch my door for hours.


Are you wearing rings?
Yes, just one.


Next time you will kiss someone?
I don't know.


You can get a puppy or a new car. Which do you choose?
Puppy


What is the brand of the shirt your wearing called?
I don't know, it's from the Warehouse.

A Really Interesting Email I Recieved...

In the line at the supermarket, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."   

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. The former generation did not care enough to save our environment." She was right, that generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

   

Back then, they returned their milk bottles, soft drink bottles and beer bottles to the shop. The shop sent them back to the factory to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. They were recycled.

   

But they didn't have the green thing back in that customer's day.

   

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.

  

  But she was right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.

   

Back then, they washed the baby's nappies because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in a 220 volt energy gobbling machine - wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

   

But that old lady is right; they didn't have the green thing back in her day.

 

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house - not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief, not a screen the size of a cricket pitch. In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn't have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. They didn't have air conditioning or electric stoves with self cleaning ovens. They didn't have battery operated toys, computers, or telephones.

   

Back then, they didn't fire up an engine and burn fuel just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They used hand operated clippers to trim the shrubs. They exercised by working so they didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

  

  But she's right; they didn't have the green thing back then.

  

They drank from a glass filled from the tap when they were thirsty instead of using a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled their writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

  

Back then, people walked or took the bus and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus instead of turning their mums into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

  

  But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful the old folks were just because they didn't have the green thing back then?

I'm Bored.

A

- Available: Yes

 - Age: 21

- Annoyance: Dad is eating rice crackers and it's really loud.

- Animal: Squirrel

-Actress: Anne Hathaway

B

- Beer: Is still gross.

- Body Part on opposite sex: Eyes

- Best Feeling in the world: When you drop suddenly and its like you left your stomach at the top

- Been on stage?: Yes, for singing and poetry recital and a Bible reading

- Believe in yourself?: Sure, why not.

- Believe in life on other planets: Maybe.

- Believe in magic: Anything can be magical, you just need to know how to look.

- Believe in Evolution: Yes.

C

- Car: Yellow VW Beetle

- Color: The whole goshdarn rainbow.

- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate

- Chinese/Mexican: Why is it necessary to choose?  A Chinese Mexican, or a Mexican Chinese.

- Cake or pie: Cake

- Country to visit: Somewhere in Africa, and South America.

- Comedian: Rhys Darby

D

- Day or Night: Night

- Dream vehicle: Yellow VW Beetle - preferably convertible

- Dance in the rain? Only to a Taylor Swift song.

E

- Eggs: Are disgusting.

- Eyes: Well mine are green.

- Everyone has: an ulterior motive.

- Ever failed a class?: Not really, but I've done really badly in Chemistry and English.

F

- First crush: Hmm, hard to remember. 

- First thoughts waking up: Morning already?! Grr!

- Food: Cheeseburger.  Grapes.  Feijoa.  Broccoli.

- Flowers: Daisy.

G

- Greatest Fear: Deep water, natural disasters, earthquakes

- Goals: Graduating university, university exchange to Montana, USA, and travel.

H

- Height: Average

- Holiday: Yes please.

- Health Freak: Inner Health Freak.  Don't have enough will power.

- Hate: Capsicum, tomatoes, marmelade, raw onion.  Also: child & animal cruelty.

- Heart Broken/when/who?: I'm sorry, what?

I

- Ice Cream: Jelly Tip

- Instrument: Piano & Cello

J

- Jewelry: Yes please.

- Job: I'm a bum, living off the govt. ;)

K

- Kids: One day

- Kick boxing or karate: Neither.

- Keep a journal?: Nahh, that's why I have this blog.

L

- Longest Car Ride: Never!  Love road trips.

- Love: has yet to find me.

- Laughed so hard you cried: Best thing ever.

- Love at first sight: is a movie phenomenon

- Lyrics: "I laugh at my own jokes, and what I deem to be clever wit, and you don't seem to mind that I'm so stupid"

M

- Milk flavor: Strawberry

- Movie: Becoming Jane, Mamma Mia, Hairspray... many more

- Marriage?: Perhaps. Who's asking? :D

- Motion sickness?: I get it.

- McD's or BK: Either.

- Memory: "flipper, noggin...duuuuuuuuude"

N

- Number of Siblings: 0

- Number: 24

O

- Overused Phrase: amazeballs.

- Odd phobia: The volume setting on a radio not being on an even number freaks me out.

P

- Place you'd like to live: Penang again, LA, Nice

- Pizza: is best homemade.

- Pepsi/Coke: SPRITE.

- Person you miss: Lots.

- Piercings: 5

Q

- Quail: Cute

- Quiet music or loud: Medium

R

- Reality TV: overrated

- Radio Station: The Edge

- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Yes I can

- Relationship: Who's asking?

S

- Song: Betty, by Brooke Fraser

- Sushi: Chicken Teryaki flavour please

- Scent: Yves Saint Laurent Yvresse

- Smoked? Nahh

- Skinny dipped?: Yeah

- Sing well?: I wish

- Swear?: I wish I didn't. Well, I don't much, but less is better

- Stuffed Animals?: I have too many

- Strawberries/Blueberries: Both!

T

- Time for bed: Late

- Thunderstorms: Are awesome.

- TV: Can be good.

- Tattoos?: Got one.

U

- Unpredictable: The opposite of a Delta Goodrem song.

- Used to play: Badminton, Softball and Volleyball. And Netball when I was REALLY young.

V

- Vegetable you hate: Capsicum, & tomato.

- Vegetable you love: Brocolli & potato

- Vacation spot: Anywhere but here

- Valentines Day: Lame.

W

- Weakness: Lollies, and making friends with people who have a habit of turning around and crapping on me haha.

- Worst feeling: Never-ending tiredness.

- Want to be a model? It would be nice but noone would ever want me haha

X

- X-Rays: Teeth, and ankle.

Y

-Year it is now: 2011

-Yellow: Sunshine

Z

- Zoo animal: Meerkat

- Zodiac sign: Gemini!

Swings in Roundabouts.

When  I was a baby, I had no choices, I was dressed in pink, and admittedly, I followed that when I was a toddler... I was somewhat girly.

When I was a kid, I prided myself on not being girly, rather, on being a tomboy.  Makeup didn't interest me, I couldn't have cared less about clothes, and my hair was in a ponytail all the time.  I loathed shopping, couldn't think of anything worse, and my nails were never painted.

When I hit my teens, I still wasn't a girly girl, nor was I a tomboy.  I guess I was somewhere in the middle or something.  I went to a school with a strict dress/uniform code, so didn't have much opportunity to explore my options or individuality, and the friends I had (yes, past tense, but that's another story) didn't really care about fashion etc either, and weren't incredibly girly.

Now that I'm in my twenties, over the last couple of years where I've worked and travelled before settling down for university, I have finally developed a girlyness I've never really had before.  I now have a vague interest in makeup - I know what liquid eyeliner is now, and how to use it!  I love shopping, and buying clothes.  I may not have the best fashion sense, but I still love shopping. 

But now, I'm starting to feel like I need to get in touch with my minimalist side.  Although not entirely ditch the girlyness... but maybe tone it down.  I feel like I'm becoming a bit too superficial, a bit too reliant on material possessions, and a bit bad at just enjoying being.  I feel like I need to spend more time with my friends and family, doing things that don't necessarily involve lots of money or going shopping, but rather getting to know people, laughing and enjoying life.

One of these days, I'll work out who I am.

That Sinking Feeling

When you know someone doesn't care anymore, but you just can't let go.  

It doesn't help that when one of your favourite quotes is "when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long in the first place".

I'm determined to get to the bottom of this one day, but for now, I'm left hanging, wondering why.  Why it's so hard just to text back, or email back, or call me.  I'm tired of making the effort.  I'm almost as my ultimate giving up point. 

sigh.

Untouchable

We've just had a 3 day weekend.  They really are the best.  Next semester I have no classes on a Friday, so it will be like this EVERY weekend.  But enough about that.  That's not the point of this blog. 

The point of this blog is the fact that over the space of this weekend, nobody has contacted me.  Perhaps because I don't really have any/many friends and they are all too busy enjoying their own long weekends.

But it's been nice.  Really nice.  Not a single text message, nor going on Facebook chat.  It's relaxing.  I think I'll go back to my habit of never going on FB chat unless someone wallposts me that they are online and want to talk to me... thats how I used to be.  Can't remember why I stopped.

I think I was always online because living alone in town is lonely, and I liked to chat to people online, but it wasn't very productive.

So for now, I remain, to a degree, uncontactable...

...and untouchable.

It's Kind of Sad...

...when you leave the radio on all the time just for company.

...when you spend far too much time on Facebook for company.

...when you thought you would like living alone.

Oops.  I was a bit wrong.  Maybe that's why I like being home on the weekends so much.

Feeling a Bit Worthless.

I thought the whole "uni" thing was going well, I was making new friends, I was maintaining old friendships.

Turns out hardly any of my friends, new or old, can be bothered to come to my 21st party.  Or said they were coming, so we ordered enough catering, then turned around and made excuses.

It just makes me feel a little bit worthless... and I kind of want to cancel the whole thing.

I guess I just need to focus on the people who are going out of their way to come, like my Aunty, coming from 1hr flight away just for me. <3

A New Kind of Pressure.

When I was 14, I got into a bit of trouble, and that was peer pressure.  I thought if I didn't do it like everybody else, I would never be accepted, I'd always be the freak on the outside.  Needless to say, it didn't work, all that happened was a lot of trouble, and a long time of being grounded.

I thought, foolishly, that at 20, nearly 21, peer pressure would be but a distant memory, something long in the past that I learned from, and would never let influence me again.  I also figured that people at my age and older, would be way past this stage of trying to dictate what others should do.

How wrong could I be.

I may be 20, but apparently what people say still affects me.  I may say I've learned my lesson, but with what has been happening, I'm not so sure I have.  But then again, who says society and the people who are pressuring me are right in the first place.

What I am talking about, is NOT illegal, so don't go thinking terrible things.  It's to do with the simple thing of moving out of home.  There is NOTHING wrong with living at home at 20 years old.  Especially when you are a full time university student, and the government barely gives you enough to live off each week.  But this is not what I've been hearing.

I moved into a university hall of residence, even though my house is only 45min train ride from uni, because everyone said it was a good idea, that it was time I left home, that I should be getting more independent.  I was reluctant, not terribly keen, but I relented because I figured it would be better to live closer to uni, and not have to commute and deal with when my parents move house.

As for being independent?  Well EXCUSE me, but I was incredibly independent for 2.5 months when I was in Europe, I can take care of myself, I'm not stupid, I'm not immature.  Did anyone think to even ASK me if I liked being at home?! No!  I in fact DO like being at home.  And being semi-forced out was not pleasant.  Now I'm stuck with the task of trying to get out of a year long contract so I can move home because it is cheaper (my room rent is highway robbery, and I can't afford it for the rest of the year.  End of Story.).

Now don't get me wrong, my parents are perfectly happy to have me living at home, it will be good for all of us, and much cheaper, seeing as they are actually having to help me pay for this stupid room.

I'm just EFFING SICK of people telling me that I'm too old to live at home!  EVERYONE does it these days.  It's not a bad thing.  So back the freak off okay? I want to live at home, my parents have NO problem with it, it's none of YOUR business, so shut up and leave me alone.  I'm not WEIRD.  You are for being stuck in the mindset that at 18 you should pack up and ship out of home.  These days, that isn't the norm as much.  So stop making me feel bad for wanting to move back home, and do something that is RIGHT for me for ONCE in my life.

Kthanksbye.

I guess I should fill you in...!

Well.  My absence of blogs has been unnoticed by most, but for those who do read it, I feel obliged to update you on, well, my life!

So, I'm in week 2 of my university life, and I LOVE it.  So far.  Ask me again in Week 6, and I might tell another story.  

But at this point and time I am really enjoying it.  Learning, instead of working.  Making friends, instead of sitting at my desk all day in front of a computer.

Seriously, I've made so many friends, I'm so glad.  I was told I would find it hard, but really, I haven't.  I've totally gone out of my comfort zone, I've made it habit to introduce myself when I sit next to someone new in lectures, I go up to people who look lonely or lost and say hi, I always end up seeing someone I know.  It's great.  

And then there are the people who I was in the same year group with at high school, who are now 2 or 3 years ahead of me because they didn't take gap years like me.  And you know what?  It doesn't bother me one bit.  That's cool, they wanted to study.  I didn't want to. That's cool too. But now I do, and it's great!  I still see these people, I run into them, and they seem genuinely surprised and glad to see me, like they thought I would never go to uni.  It was always in my plan to go to uni, I just wasn't sure when! :)  NOW! :D

As for my living situation, well I decided very last minute that over-the-hill wasn't going to be so great for my first year, in fact, it would have been so different, all that commuting, and not having flexibility with my time.  Instead, I've moved into the central city, and while it has it's downfalls (a daily 4.30am greeting from the rubbish truck, drunk people yelling and screaming on Weds/Fri/Sat nights...) for the most part, it's pretty cool.  

I'm so CLOSE to everything.  Seriously.  Video store for cheap rentals, night clubs (but if you know me, I don't tend to go clubbing!), supermarket 200m away, and a building full of potential friends (107 other people to be exact! When full of course, which it isn't right now, but it will fill up some more soon!).  Also close to bus/train back home, as well as around the city, where there is soooooooo much to do.  It's self catered, which sucks a little bit when I can't be bothered cooking, but that's ok.  If I don't cook, I don't cook.  I eat toast for dinner.  It won't kill me haha.

So that's about it for now, hopefully I won't leave it so long between now and my next blog!

Hope the world is treating you all kindly.

xx

Project 365!

http://keepingthemindatplay.blogspot.com/

^^^ Check it out!  :)  I'm having so much fun doing it.

Quizzy Thing! :)

If you were to take the last name of the person who text you last, what would it be?
Jackson (it was my mum!)

If you woke up naked next to the last person you text, what would your reaction be?

Concern!

Last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?

The other day...!

What girls do you talk to most?

Mum, Rachel, Audrey and Ali

How many $20 bills do you have on you right now?
None :(

Are there any stressful situations in your life right now?

Yeah we're moving, I'm about to start university, my mum just left her job... argh!

Do you enjoy late night phone calls?

I don't like to talk on the phone haha

Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook?

Lauren!

Are you wearing something that belongs to someone else?

Nope, all mine.

Who is the last person you were in a car with besides family?

Ohhh that's a tough one.  Probably Lucy and Vai.

Who's bed did you sleep in last night?  

Mine

When was the last time you spoke to your sibling?

Never!
Does anyone have a tattoo of your name?

Not anyone I know!

Have you even snuck someone over while your parents were asleep?
Uh no.

What do you wanna do after high school?
I finished high school ages ago... I still don't know!

When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?
When I was about...8 or 9?

Who's birthday is next?
Jessica

Do you start the water before getting in the shower?
Of course - none of this cold shower business!

Does your family have family picnics?
Nope...

What is your siblings middle name?
Same as their first name - nothing!

If you had 2 baby boys & 2 baby girls what would you name them?
Hmm... I have never thought about boy names much... I think I'd pick only when the time came.  But girls, I love the names Cassidy and Cadance.  The middle names would be Linzi (after my late aunty) and Gabriella (what my sisters name would have been if I'd had one).  Not sure what order.

If you had those babies with the last person you slept with, what would their last names be? 
Haha next question please.

What is something you dislike about today?
I had work!

Are you friends with someone who has broken your heart?
No

Can you successfully blow up and tie a balloon?
Yeah, I had to do 200 in a row once... I nearly passed out!

Do you have one friend who knows you inside and out?
Not really, my friends never really stick around long enough to be like that!

What's your favorite colour?
Are you kidding?  Lame question man.  But, yellow.

Did you like someone this summer?
Yes

Is smoking unattractive?
Heck yes!

Did you forgive the last person who really hurt you?
I'm kinda over it now, so I guess it's "forgiving", but like they say, once bitten, twice shy... so I'm not going back there.

What do you think of when you hear "meow"?
My 3 cats (they're so cute!)

Did you kiss anyone today?
My poppa when he arrived for a visit!

When will you kiss someone on the lips next?
I have no clue!

Have you ever had stitches?
Yeah, when they cut something out of my scalp (it was nasty!!) and when they removed teeth from my mouth... yuck!

When did you LAST kiss someone?

I can't remember.

Where is your ex right now?

In the house he moved into just before we broke up lol...

 
What is the closest blue thing to you?
My anklet and my iPod :)

Were you happy this morning?
At six in the morning?  Heck no.

It's midnight.. Who are you texting?
Mr Nobody... I'm usually always asleep by then!

Wednesday after noon, where are you?
Work!

Who were the last 4 people to text you?
Ali, Mum, Jenn (!), Samantha

What's on your mind?
Moving house. (fml!)

Do you like chess?
No... never learned to play... would like to one day though, when I am rich and don't need to work!

What can you hear?
Burlesque Soundtrack!!  Obsessed!

Have you held hands with anyone in the last 4 days?
No

When was the last time you consumed alcohol?
Can't remember!

Have you even kissed a smoker?
No

Do you fall in love easily?
No

What's on your wrists?
My silver bangle

Where were you Friday night?
Home.

Will you ever get a tattoo?
I have one already!

This time last year, we're you happy?
No, I was being driven mad by a biatch I worked with (I later quit in May!)

Will you have the same best friend this time next year?
I don't have one right now, just a few really really good friends (it's hard to be totally best friends when you're spread around the world!)

What about bf/gf?
I don't have one right now...

Do you drive?
Heck yes, I love to!

Are you missing anyone right now?

Of course!

One of THOSE Days...

For some reason I'm feeling incredibly blah right now.  I'm tired, unmotivated, can't be bothered making small talk, just want to crawl into my bed and sleep for the rest of the week.  I wake up in the morning, already looking forward to going to bed at night.  I watch the clock at work, willing it to be 2pm already.  I see nobody except those I have to see as I go about my daily routine - ie. work mates and my parents.  I don't go out.  I feel like I haven't laughed in forever.  People pick pathetic fights with me (I swear, I don't ask for it.  It just seems to happen a fair amount... I don't think I'm that controversial am I?) and it feels like they are massive and are going to take over my life.

The weird thing is, I can't actually pinpoint why.  A few separate issues I've already resolved.  I already worked out that my lips were chapped and dry cos I didn't drink as much water over the hols as I should have.  I worked out that I had a stomach ache from ice cream.  But this one stumps me.  This one's in my head.

If I can't work out the cause, how can I fix it?

It might have something to do with all the changes right now... starting university, moving to another town (further away from uni than I already am!), my mum quitting her job...

I think I'll just try and sleep this one off.

Goodnight.

Time for Change...Already?

So we're just into a new year, and suddenly my world is being turned upside down.

I mean, I knew going to university would do that, but throw in moving-house-to-the-other-side-of-the-huge-hills-for-an-extra-15-mins-on-my-commute-to-uni change, and the world spins.

Granted, the houses are way cheaper over there (we're getting a house that is possibly bigger than our current one, for about half the price!), and my parents can afford to live on that side of the hill... but commuting will be such a pain... a whole HOUR instead of 45 mins haha.  But way more expensive, instead of $196 for a month pass, it's going to be $312 *gulp*

But looking at the positives....
- amazing weather over there
- big section for our cats to play on
- there are swings in the courtyard
- huge garage
- loads of parking at the house
- like 15 min walk to train station (instead of 10 min drive where we currently live)
- the house has brand new carpet!
- the house is so big I get my own office! :O  Super!!  It has built in shelves too! :D  SCORE!
- I'm allowed to paint myself a feature wall in my bedroom
- it's a small, cute country town
- we will still have a spare room


Okay, so a few negatives....
- far away from uni
- killing my social life before I even have a chance to get one... :/
- a pain cos there's only 2 train services a day at the weekends
- the house's kitchen is scunge, but we're going to do it up once we move in
- the main shower is tiny...like you bend over and your bum hits the cold aluminium shower side.... eeep (better have that fixed BEFORE winter!) - we're putting a new shower in tho.
- hard to get decent internet, and there are no companies that monitor house alarms over there


...


can't think of any other negatives right now.  But I'm slowly warming to the idea...I suppose.  Reluctantly so...


I'll keep you posted.  Right now I'm thinking about what colours I can paint my feature wall... :D

 (SIDENOTE): I've been dreaming of earthquakes the last two nights... I looked it up in the dream dictionary... interesting:

Earthquake
To dream of an earthquake, suggests that you are experiencing a major "shake-up" that is threatening your stability and foundation. The dream highlights your insecurity, fears and sense of helplessness. Is there something in your life that you feel at "fault" for? If you find cover from the quake, you will overcome these challenges. If you become trapped or injured during the quake, you will suffer some sort of loss in your life.

I'd Wear That.

I'm having an "I'd Wear That" moment... where I'm dwelling on how well I would have fit in in the 1940s/50s/60s in terms of fashion had I been around in that era.  I mean seriously, this fashion is coming back now, as "vintage", I'm in my element!!  So I thought I'd try and find some outfits from way back when, to show you what I mean. :)

Ok so I couldn't find a photo of exactly what I like, but these are pretty good! :)

Thoughts?

It's THAT Time of Year.

Yes.  I'm going to do this.  Really really.

You see, normally, I make resloutions (ugh yes that dreaded word!) at the start of the year, and don't stick to them.  But I never tell anyone what they are, so that way, I only disappoint myself.  

However, this year I'm game for something a little different.  After all, it is a year of new challenges (see http://keepingthemindatplay.blogspot.com/ for my other new venture with a lovely friend of mine! It's super exciting and cool, I promise. To us, anyway. :D ) so I'm going to publicly list my resolutions.

1. Get my health under control - ie go into remission with my illness - which involves being responsible for myself, taking my pills like I'm supposed to, and eating good things.

2. Achieve a reasonable level of fitness, and in the process, lose enough to look like I did when I came back from USA last year, when I was a size 10ish (NZ size)... I'd be stoked with fitting size 8 too!  :)  (Currently I'm size 14... ugh)

3. Maintain a B grade average at university so that I'm eligible for a university exchange in 2012 to USA (hopefully!!!)

4. Don't get into debt anymore than I have to.  Student loan is a must, but no more credit card use!

That's all I can think of for now, but that's enough to keep myself busy! :)  

What are your resolutions for 2011?