For a Bit of Fun...

50 Questions You've Never Been Asked 

 

1. What's your favorite candle scent? 
I love vanilla or anything berry

 
2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

Probably Taylor Swift... we'd have so much fun baking and talking about cats. :P  Katy Perry and Kate Walsh would be awesome older sisters.

 
3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Ooh I don't know.  Nobody hot, because it would be SO wrong to fancy them.  Maybe Jack Black or Steve Carrell cos they're hilarious.

4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?

Old enough haha.  If it ever happens.  I hope late 20s early 30s?

5. Do you know a hoarder?

Not that I can think of.

 
6. Can you do a split?

Not anymore! :(  

 
7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Like 4 or 5?

 
8. How many oceans have you swam in?

I actually hate swimming in the ocean.  And I don't even know the names of the ones I've swum in haha but I've swum at beaches around NZ, also South East Asia, Greece, France...

 
9. How many countries have you been to?

Now this I DO keep tabs on!  I've been to 29!

 
10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

Yes my Dad used to be.  

 
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

Cadence, or Cassidy for first names.  Lily (for my Nan) or Gabriella (for my Mum) for second names.

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

I don't know!  Maybe something traditional.

 
13. What's the worst grade you got on a test?

Ohhh uhm.  I got a C for an assignment at college last year.  From school, I failed some chemistry papers and statistics papers.  

 
14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

Ooh I liked a lot.  I really loved Full House when I was younger.  And then Lizzie Maguire.

 
15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

We don't really celebrate Halloween in NZ, so I never dressed up as anything.

 
16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

Only Harry Potter.

 
17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

British.  Duh.

18. Did your mother go to college?

No, not until she was in her late 30s, and she didn't complete it.

 
19. Are your grandparents still married?

Yes, both sets, although my Pop died in 2004.

 
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

No, but I took jiu-jitsu for a while.

 
21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

Of course!  He's the best!

 
22. What's the first amusement park you've been to?

Rainbows End in Auckland, NZ.

 
23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Well English is my native language, and I know a lot of French so it would be nice to be fluent in that, and also Spanish, because I wanted to learn that but my school didn't offer it, so I took French instead.

 
24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

Grey

 
25. Is your father bald?

No

 
26. Do you know triplets?

Yes

 
27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

Well probably The Notebook, although I've only seen it once and I don't remember it terribly well.  But Titanic, it's just sooooo long!  

 
28. Have you ever had Indian food?

Of course - I love it!

 
29. What's the name of your favorite restaurant?

I don't have a favourite favourite, but I love Arzum Turkish Kebabs which is like half an hour from my house.  Amazing.

 
30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

No, didn't go there when I was in USA, and we don't have them here in NZ.

 
31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ's, etc.)?

We don't really have those in NZ either.  Probably the equivalent is Moore Wilsons, and I don't belong there lol.

 
32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

They actually hadn't picked a boys name, so lucky I came out a girl.  I was almost called Emma though.

 
33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

Little J, Han, or Hanna-Banana

 
34. Who's your favorite person in the world?

That's a hard one.  Just one person?  Can't do it.  Too many amazing people in my life.

 
35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

I like suburbs, being close to friends and family and not having to travel 1/2 an hour for most things is nice haha

 
36. Can you whistle?

Yes

 
37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

Haha no.

 
38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Try to!  I don't think I've skipped in a year or two.

 
39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

Yes

 
40. What medical conditions do you have?

Crohns' disease, chronic compartment syndrome of the lower legs, RSI (or OOS) in my right wrist, asthma, eczema...

 
41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

Never been admitted overnight or anything, but I've been a few times as a day patient.

 
42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

YES I love that movie!

 
43. Where do you buy your jeans?

Farmers

 
44. What's the last compliment you got?

That I'm have a beautiful soul and am an amazing friend.  *shucks*

 
45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

Only if they are really bad or really good.

 
46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

Blackcurrant apple tea.

 
47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

Not enough haha.  I have chucks, sneakers, jandals, like 2 pairs of sandals, wedges, high heels, boots.  That's it.

 
48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

Whatever they want to practice.  I will let them choose to have one or not.

 
49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real?

Maybe when I was like 7 or 8?

50. Why do you have a tumblr? 

Because I can! :P And because I love making a space where it is totally me.

A Bit Lost

I'm not sure what's going on with me right now.

I do know I'm really mad at myself.

I do know I look like shit.

I do know I'm trying my best.

I do know that I want to cry at the stupidest, tiniest things.

I do know I'm stressed about uni work.

I don't know how to stop.

But I'm aware of this.  And I'm not going back to 2007.  Ever.

Apologies

Wow my last post was bitchy.

I'm sorry.

I'm very stressed.  I just don't need people telling me they think they have it worse than me, because they really don't know what else is going on. 

I can't wait for the holidays.... ASDFGHJKL 3 more weeks of class and then FREEDOM.  Well... "study leave" then an exam then FREEDOM!  For 6 days.  Then work.  -_-

One Upping.

It's so annoying.

When I want to have a pity party, and feel sorry for my predicament with my essay, I don't need people going "well I'm in your situation AND I'm working on another essay simulatneously/working 20 hours a day everyday/saving the f*ckin' whole world". 

I DON'T CARE.  Let me feel sorry for myself, because the sooner I do, the sooner I end my pity party and get on with the essay that created the said pity party.  I don't need your crap to deal with tooooooooo.

Seriously pissing me off.  You don't know shit about what else I've got on my plate, but I don't go around bragging about it like some martyr.

endrant.


(clarification - not directed at anyone in particular, just feeling in a bad mood in general)

Anticipation

On another note, there is finally some WARMER weather and I'm super doooooooooper excited for what this means!

Summer!
Sunshine!
BBQs!
Friends!
Christmas!
Family!
Fun!
Swimming!
Holidays!
Rivers!

Alas, I'm not sure how much of this I will be around to enjoy.

Last summer, I worked November/December, a lot.  Burnt out.  Got really, REALLY sick.  Spent the January in bed, and February recovering enough to start 2nd year of uni in March.

I have learned my lesson.  Don't work so hard.  The workplace will NOT collapse without me.  Take my medication.  Eat properly - noodles don't count.

Anyway, this is besides the point I wanted to MAKE in this blog post.

I'm excited about summer!!!  But I have some news.  I just emailed my uncle my CV, and he knows people at this fruit orchard who might hire me for the whole summer.  The catch... it's in Hawkes Bay.  Which is about 2.5 hours from where I live.  And about 3.5 hours from where most of my friends live.

So yeah.  We shall see where this goes.  I'm not sure, but I hope I do get to work, because it'll be lots of hours, and money to pay my parents back what I owe, and save for a trip next winter to Rarotonga to escape the cold.

Cross your fingers for me?  Both that it's the right decision, and that I make enough money haha.  :)

Growing Up

Sometimes I want to be more grown up.  Move out.  Have a life about which I don't really speak to my parents.  Have a long term relationship.  Have a pet.  Live in a cute apartment.  Work full time.  Be independent.  Go on dinner dates (if there is a lack of aforementioned relationship).  Be cultured.  Drink wine.

But then I remember. I like living at home.  I like talking to my parents.  I don't mind being alone.  I already have 4 pets at home.  I live in a cute house.  I don't work, to focus on my studies.  I'm yet to graduate.  I am reasonably independent; I have my own car, I can come and go as I please.  And I don't like wine.

Thus I am torn.  Do I really want to grow up?

There are some parts of a perceived "grown up" life to which I am drawn, but then these come with responsibilities, and other such unpleasantries.

I guess this is an in between phase.  

I promised myself, and my parents, that I would move out of home by the age of 25.  I have 3 more years.  I guess I should savour it.  I graduate at the end of next year.  Then that gives me a year and a half to find a job, work, save, move out, and get a life.

But then I also plan to move to Europe for a while, perhaps with my cousin Laura, dependent on timing and finances and such, sooo I don't know.

There are so many opportunities, and as I have said before, so much to do, so little time.

I guess I see people my own age, and younger, already graduated, moved out of home, being "grown ups", with careers, boyfriends with whom they have been for many years already, and they seem to have life sorted out.  They know what they're doing, what they want, who they want.  And I guess I'm a little jealous of their certainty and that they have everything sussed.  

I mean, this view that they have life sorted is a sweeping generalisation, and in fact I'm sure the people to whom I am referring in my minds eye have a myriad of problems and so forth that they simply do not broadcast, and they live in spite of their issues.

I just need to work out how to do the same.

Who I am.

Something has been bugging me about some of the people I have 'met' who share the IBD diagnosis.  The first thing they say, is along the lines of "Hi, I'm a Crohnie" or "I have UC" or something.  Like it's the first thing about them.  Like the disease defines them.  Like IBD isn't just something they have, it's who they are.  I mean, I know it's understandable in an IBD support forum, but I'm talking about outside of that.  It baffles me.

Now I don't know about you, but I find this whole thing disturbing.  I don't want to be defined by my illness.  It is not the sum of my entire being, so why would I make it one of the first things I say about myself?!  I want people to know me, and if they like me, then I will tell them about this other facet of my life.  I don't want it to scare them off in the first moments. 

I guess I feel like if it was an identifying factor of my life, it would be all consuming, and I wouldn't be me.  I couldn't be normal, because my whole being would be based on my abnormality.  And that's uncool.

I am not a Crohnie.
I HAVE Crohn's disease.

IT does not have ME.  And it never will.