It's ok to have moments, so I keep telling people; pity-parties as I call them. Maybe I should take my own advice and have a moment and be ok with it. Sometimes I feel like a failure if I do. I'm supposed to be strong, and I'm stubborn that it's hard to let that fall down.
It's hard to stay positive all the time. I think my current moment is mostly about jealousy. And I know that it's an ugly emotion, and we shouldn't show it. But I'm jealous because life is so unfair sometimes.
I see all my friends out there, living, having lives, having fun, and I'm at home, not going anywhere or doing anything because I have no money, and I am busy at uni. Yes, I am accomplishing university, but there are always going to be people with better grades, coping better with their studies, and that's most of my friends. Which makes me feel useless.
I see all my friends out there, living, having lives, having fun, and I'm at home, not going anywhere or doing anything because I have no money, and I am busy at uni. Yes, I am accomplishing university, but there are always going to be people with better grades, coping better with their studies, and that's most of my friends. Which makes me feel useless.
All of my friends are doing amazing at whatever they are doing. I know a lot of them worked hard for it, but it doesn't make me any less envious. Some are travelling the world, some are embracing healthier lifestyles, some are graduating, some are getting amazing jobs, some are making an impact just by existing. Why can't I seem to do this too?
I know people tell me I am helping, I am making a difference... but I certainly don't feel like I am, or like I'm achieving anything.
I know people tell me I am helping, I am making a difference... but I certainly don't feel like I am, or like I'm achieving anything.
I feel like I'm just hovering. I'm not really living.
Dude. Don't you have some sort of disease that most people don't have and yet you are not letting it get in the way of your studies and work?! And you have seen more of the world that I have! You have already achieved so much in your life! Uni is a time for many students to chill out. I have no money. I don't go out and do stuff but I'm making the most of the relaxation time I won't have when I've graduated and start working full time. You have made an impact on my life just by being your bubbly colourful self! It is natural to have these moments of self-pity (coz we don't see the whole picture) but the best thing to do is chill out and embrace the ambiance.
ReplyDeleteGood on you for being honest and putting your heart out there. Just remember, some people look to have it all together on the surface, but really, they are not coping either.
ReplyDeleteJust make the most of your life! Right here, right now. You'll never have enough time or money but you can enjoy the free things in life. For example, today I am taking the free sunshine and making the most of it.
I am jealous of your amazing baking blog just so you know :)
Go, on choose to smile and find a free adventure just sitting on your doorstep. Who knows maybe one day you'll be a famous chef/baker who charges $500 for flour and water because you decorated it pretty????
Hey Hannah!
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog because I noticed you left a comment on mine a while back - it took me ages, but I do read through every single comment.
Just wanted to leave a few words because everyone feels this way. You may think your friends are having a ball, but we all have those days (..or a few at a time) where we lay in bed, looking ugly as heck, doing absolutely nothing. Everyone sometimes feels like they're useless, and wonder what the point of their existence is.
But don't! We all have different things that make us happy, and different things that need to be done. Who knows what you'll do when uni is done?! Just enjoy life as it is now, and remember that if you're feeling low, the only way to go is up!
Best,
Naina
SIDEWALKCATWALKS.com (yeah had to toss that in there, signature sign out har har)
Aaaand I added an extra h to your name, ahh don't kill me. I'm a sucker for palindromes - whoops!
ReplyDelete